Antinous Contempt Rating
How Antinous are you?
twelve tiny indignities. one throne. for each, you decide: TOLERATE it like a commoner, or have the BEGGARS removed. we tally your contempt and hand you a gilded verdict card — because somewhere between the mangled coffee cup and the 2am “you up,” there is a suitor renting a room in you, and it's time you met him.
three suitors, for reference
100% Suitor Energy
Throne-Certified Suitor
peak Antinous. there is no indignity too small for your operatic wrath — a typo on a cup is a declaration of war and you have the war. you'd remove EVERYONE and you'd do it in 70mm. and yet you'll lie awake replaying it, a tantrum in a laurel crown.
nobody scores low. you thought you were the disguised king slumming it. the card says suitor. everyone's card says suitor.
50% Suitor Energy
Palace-Curious
a coin-flip aristocrat. some beggars you wave off, some you'd have escorted to the sea. you're not sure if you're the disguised king or the entitled freeloader and — quietly — you suspect you know the answer.
nobody scores low. you thought you were the disguised king slumming it. the card says suitor. everyone's card says suitor.
8% Suitor Energy
Beggar-Adjacent
you tolerated nearly everything. you said “no worries” and meant it. this is not grace, it is a hostage situation you've made peace with. remove no one. you ARE the “no worries.”
nobody scores low. you thought you were the disguised king slumming it. the card says suitor. everyone's card says suitor.